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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

it's been decided...

ive had my sulking period.
my sobbing for hours on end period.
my feeling bad for myself and taking the role of victim period.

and now im done.
there is absolutely nothing i can do to make this situation better.
so i need to pick myself up, control the things that i can control, and let go of the things that i can't control.

brooke posted this on her blog and this is exactly what i need to do.... let go of what i can't change.

i was watching a pbs program (checked out from the library of course)
about the heart. there was a couple stories of people who have heart failure and are on a waiting list with 3000 others to receive a new heart. suffring from health complications all along the way.

it made me realize that even though i am completely devestated by this situation,
im lucky to have everything that i have. and even though there are things i dont have that i wish i did, like photos from my wedding day, i still have alot.

i have great health, and don't suffer from anything in comparison to what millions of people have to suffer.
i have an amazing and caring and compassionate husband who can always calm me down, just by talking, he takes my mind off the things i dont want to think about. and makes me smile when i dont want to.
i have great family and friends who support and love us very much and who are great examples to me.
i have the gospel in my life and the comfort that gives me.
i have alot.
and things will be ok.

thanks to everyone for all your MANY expressions of love and support through this.
I have had many many people express their care and support through facebook, blogs, emails and texts.

i sound like someone has died, i know. but again, thats kinda how i feel.  

1 comment:

  1. Ashlee I am so sorry that happened to you. It makes me sick! Things will be okay:) Maybe you just need to see me! Text me so I can have your new number! We NEEED to get together! I love you!