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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

am i dreaming?


i woke up this morning hoping that this was all just a bad dream
but as soon as i realize i had big red puffy eyes and could barely see, i realized this is my reality.
my unbearable, devestating reality that can't be changed. 
it just cant be changed.
i have never been in a situation that couldnt be fixed, or that i couldnt get over
how do i get over this. 
i told brock last night that i feel like someone died.
and that is exactly how i feel. 
(i dont mean to belittle the situation of losing someone, for those of you who have) 
but this is how i feel.

i called in sick today because i just burst into uncontrollable tears every 5 minutes. 
how can i get those moments back.
how can i recreate the emotion expressed on our newly wed faces.
how can i remember all the people that were at the temple to greet us as a newly married couple.
i was so wrapped up in my joy and excitement with my new husband that those moments just passed by in a flash. i don't have the pictures to remind me who was there filled with love and support for us.

im just sick.
if anyone has a dose of magic that can fix this for me. im begging you.


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