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Tuesday, May 17, 2011

T.M.I ?

I feel like now that I am engaged to be married, my blog is going to take a dramatic turn 
as far as content of my blog posts. 
And why wouldn't it right?
 My life is about to get a violent shove into new & unfamiliar territory.
Consider yourself warned!

Maybe I should consider going private.
hmmm. maybe.

With that said....

My current emotions/feelings can be described with the following:
LOW self-esteem
Negative Body Image
Little NO confidence

hmmmmm can anyone guess what I did tonight??

A friend of mine took me lingerie shopping.

'Nuff said right?

I don't get how anyone that's not a size zero victoria secret model can feel ok in that stuff!
It's not made for the 'average' or in my case, less than average body type.

How am I supposed to feel like a confident woman and wife when after days like today 
I wish I was marrying a blind person!

Luckily..... I am marrying a sweet boy who loves me the way I am....
Now somehow I just need to learn to love me the way I am.

For the record, I won't be eating till I get married in 46 days, and I will be waking up early to run my butt off.


  1. I know how you feel but you look great I would seriously trade to look like you!

  2. Ashlee Wray! Holy cow, I can't believe that you are feeling bad about yourself in the first place because you're totally gorgeous! But from one engaged girl to another, I absolutely know how you feel. Like a fish out of water. The lingerie thing got easier for me as time went on and pretty soon I found what I liked and what I didn't and now it's a lot more fun. It also helped me to think less about myself and more about my fiance. It's funny how things always change for me when I stop making everything about myself!
    Anyway, I don't want you to feel like you're alone. And thank you for letting me read your blog. I can't express to you how much I've admired you since I joined the singles ward.
    So excited for both of you, your engagements are beautiful!!
    Heather Gilmore

  3. May I just second Heather's comment as well as refer you to my comment to you last time you posted a "feeling bad about my body image" day. You are GORGEOUS!!! It is crazy for you to say that you aren't average when you are better than average and besides all of that, your man LOVES you....not the Victoria Secret model. He loves your curves and more importantly he is in love with you and so when it is so easy for us to view the whole thing with a worldly point of view but it was originally called making love for a reason....because it will create even deeper feelings of LOVE. In that moment, neither of you will be thinking "Gosh I wish I was a size zero because then I would be loved" because you will feel loved. LOVE YOU ASH! You are beautiful, you are beautiful, you are beautiful....it's true! ;)